(5:05) It seems incredulous. Umm, I haven’t studied the issues but at least in terms of care and seeing the devotees were serving him I wouldn’t have that indication, um, I was in the room when Prabhupada passed away. Um it was ah, the moment was confirmed in everybody’s heart, I remember Bhakti Charu Swami, behind Prabhupada with his hands folded, It’s just,, I don’t, its hard to remember every detail, I remember one devotee Nila Mani, from Venezuela after Prabhupada passed he just collapsed onto the floor. But I remember after Prabhupada passed Bhakti Charu Swami, with his hands folded, it just made an impression on me, he looked angelic, he looked like the moment really affected him deeply and at the same time he was realizing Prabhupada’s glory, nitya lila pravistha and with my limited context also when Prabhupada left I believe um Baradwaja was on the bed, doing the kirtan it wasn’t call and response, everybody was calling from their hearts, you know you see things from the frame of reference of your own experience, so when that happened my own impression was it was almost like there was some classical symphony, a kind of glory, you know of the triumph, you know the separation was deep but the triumph of Prabhupada entering into nitya lila.. and almost like ..dann, dann dun.. .and I really envisioned there was no roof, ceiling, it was just sky above Prabhupada, so that was one impression I had and ahh, Bhavananda was there I use to go in, in the morning cause our service started really early in the morning basically at 5:30 4:30 in the morning, you know it went all day. BB Govinda swami told me that Prabhupada was so merciful that he opened his room 24 hours a day, in other words initially you had to go past his secretary right but at this particular time he just opened the doors you could go in at any time he was so merciful. The only time I could go in was at 2:30 in the morning, I remember there being alone and Bhavananda was there and only I was there sitting and chanting my japa and then I heard Prabhupada was screaming in pain, “Hare Krishna” something like that.. and Bhavananda asked me to help adjust Prabhupadas bed, I mean from my perspective it looked like there was someone who really cared for Prabhupada and was concerned about him, um Tamal Krishna Maharaja he was the secretary and I know when we would come in to do kirtan, before it was, Before it was opened you had to go by him and I remember coming in and him saying you know um the kirtan, Prabhupada has said the kirtan should be very melodic not Hare Kishna Hare.. very melodic, Prabhupada’s condition was very sensitive, um so I saw that care like someone was caring that was my perspective, I know a door slammed in the Guest house, his servants would come up and tell people to be quiet and that was basically my impression and then the pastimes at least, I remember being there when there was a special medicine was needed by Prabhupada, I am trying to kind of vision what happened and I was in the room at that time and someone came in and it was kind of mystical at the time and someone knew a friend who was making that medicine and it was the Ramanuja kaviraja … I don’t know what it is by my impression was that they were searching for this medicine and someone had a friend who was making this medicine and Tamal Krishna Maharaja was sitting at Prabhupadas feet and he said to Prabhupada that this was like being in Caitanya Caritamrita so it gave me the impression that he was glorifying Prabhupada you know that this was gaur lila. I was also in the room um, I am trying to just be objective and just see that this was what I saw from my perspective, I was overwhelmed in my own service. But sometimes get a glimpse of Prabhupada in his service and that was my perspective at the time, I remember um I believe I was in the room when Prabhupada said take me to Govardhan. And I believe I remember it was Lokanatha Swami and Trivikarama Swami immediately ran out to get a bullock cart and then I believe I was privy at that time to the discussion and Tamal Krishna Maharaja and Bhakti Charu Maharaja said we are not going to let you go you know this will kill you Prabhupada that affected me too because that looked like spontaneous devotion because it was above the heart it was above reverential you know Prabhupada said you have to follow the order of the Guru and it was love that superseded that and it was no Prabhupada we are not going to let you go so from my humble and limited perspective of a devotee here who was young and overwhelmed with Vrindaban, overwhelmed with his own service, my perspective was that these are people who had love and care for Srila Prabhupada That was my only vision of it, it would seem incredulous to me and there was no indication of it to me that they would do something like that.
